


I Want To Take You To A Gay Bar.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Fic, Gay Bar, M/M, Present Day AU, Song Lyric Title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-22
Packaged: 2017-11-14 20:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aral is about to start a nuclear war. At the gay bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Take You To A Gay Bar.

**Author's Note:**

> The title (and, uh, all of this) is from Gay Bar by Electric 6. Take your fandom to a gay bar!

"And because you're boring, that's why!" Serg finishes and throws his drink in Aral's face.

Rewind.

It's not that Aral is jealous. Aral does not get jealous. Aral is above petty things like jealousy. He's fine! He's honestly, truly fine! He's even happy on top of being absolutely fine! His life is very, very, entirely fine! Honestly and truly. Things are looking up. They are definitely so much better now than they were when he was running wild and out of control. Definitely much better. He has a challenging and rewarding career. His father is actually speaking to him. And Ges Vorrutyer is not his boyfriend.

Anymore.

But Ges does not have to _rub it in_. He does not have to bring his damn _boytoy_ with him. Horus is their bar! Theirs! Aral fucked Ges for the first time right outside the dumpster out back! It was very romantic!

Okay, fine, he's jealous.

"How does it feel, Vorkosigan?" Ges asks. He's smirking. He's always smirking. Aral used to hate that, back when they were dating. He still hates it, but now he has a better excuse for it. Ges is always much too smug. He always thinks he's winning. But Aral knows better. Ges is nothing but a _loser_. Nothing. The only thing Ges is winning at is losing. "Not the perfect little automaton now, are you?"

Aral punches him.

It's a good punch, the kind of thing Aral will tell his grandchildren about someday. Not that, at this rate, he is going to be having grandchildren. Serg looks like he wants to use his fingernails to destroy Aral's balls. Goddamn twinks. Aral's never understood what Ges sees in them. They're -- okay, fine, _they're not good enough for him_ , and fuck you, too. Aral's allowed to be jealous. He's an artist. Having emotions is in the job description. They wouldn't let him in the door if he were as repressed as his father is.

"You punched me!" Ges shouts, master of the obvious.

"Will you three stop being disgusting stereotypes long enough to actually listen to yourselves?" Rulf asks.

"Not likely," Padma says, as always casting himself in the role of aider and abettor. Aral knew there was a reason Padma's his favorite cousin. "Here, Aral, finish my drink for me, I want a different one."

Aral narrows his eyes at his _no longer favorite_ cousin. "Are you trying to make me pass out?"

"Yes," Padma says. He gets up to go back to the bar. "Would you rather be heartbroken and hungover tomorrow morning or heartbroken and _sober_?"

"You're my favorite cousin," Aral tells him.

"He's your only cousin," Rulf mutters.

"Heartbroken?" Ges asks, because it's not as if Padma knows how to whisper. Padma thinks whispering is for other people. People who are not big and burly and able to consume more than a thimbleful of alcohol before passing out.

"Oh, fuck you, too," Aral says. "Yes, all right? Congratulations, you succeeded in making me jealous. I'm sure you're very happy now."

"He is," Serg interjects.

Aral ignores him. "What do you even want, Ges? I don't want you back, you definitely don't want me back, we have both moved on--"

"You have?" Rulf asks.

Aral ignores him, too. "So why are you parading around trying to make me jealous? What do you get out of it other than some sick satisfaction and amusement?"

Ges thinks for a moment. "Do I need anything more than that?" he asks. "I never have before."

Aral looks at Serg. "You know he's going to do this to you, too, right? Wait five years and he'll turn you in for a younger model."

"No, as I said," Serg repeats, calmer this time. Well, it's not as if he has a second drink he can throw in Aral's face. Yet. "It's because you're uptight and boring, not because I'm young and hot and still look good in glitter."

Aral considers this. "You do look fantastic in glitter."

"Thank you," Serg says sincerely. "It takes a lot of effort."

Ges looks confused at Aral's completely underhanded tactic of being nice and friendly and thereby lowering the antagonism level from FUCK YOU YOU'RE FUCKING MY EX down to OH HEY HOW DO YOU GET YOUR EYELIDS TO LOOK LIKE THAT. Aral is nothing if not unexpected. Ges should expect that.

"Aral," Ges begins.

Aral sighs. "Your mind games are so unattractive," he says.

"I like them," Serg says loyally. "Ges has a brain. Unlike some people."

Okay. Aral's going back to ignoring the little twit. Serg seems happy to return the favor.

Ges opens his mouth to continue whatever mind game was next on his agenda when Padma comes back, triumphantly bearing a hideously expensive excuse for beer and a scribbled-on napkin.

"Do you think Padma is capable of getting a drink _without_ picking someone up?" Rulf asks Aral, who shakes his head.

But, oddly enough, the phone number and e-mail address are not for Padma. Padma thrusts the napkin at Aral instead. "Here. Old man Negri's new bartender says look him up if you want to trade up."

Aral perks up. "Is he cute?"

"Very," Padma says. Ges is turning a terrible shade of jealous, Aral notes with glee. "But not as pretty as Ges," Padma adds.

"But who could be?" Serg asks, and drags Ges away. Ges doesn't stop looking at Aral until Serg has him out the door.

Aral's willing to call that one a win.


End file.
